Understand A Heart Like Mine

:D hiiii
im samantha. im 21. cold nights. bonfires. cuddling with my boyfriend. four wheelers. trucks and mud. camouflage and ammo. blankets and beer. swimming at the lake and smiles. writing, poetry and lyrics. raised with mud, beer and determination in my veins. i have my weak moments, but thats what family and friends are for. Bank teller for now, author of the future. anything else jus ask :) more than glad to answer y'alls inquiries.

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

(via measurable)

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

(via southerngirl1223)

Date someone who meets you half way. Date someone who brings you a glass a water when they get themselves one. Date someone who makes sure you don’t spend money on ridiculous things. Date someone your ex hates and your mom loves. Date someone who’d rather spend a Friday night watching movies, than out with 50 people they barley even talk to. Date someone who sleeps on your chest and leaves a little puddle of drool. Don’t date someone who makes you leave oceans of tears.
At the end of the day it’s the little things. (via offtheocean)

(via kill-the-spark)

worldfav:

I HATE WHEN BOYS ARE SAD BECAUSE THEY COULD BE LITERALLY ABOUT TO BREAK DOWN BUT THEY STILL TRY TO BE TOUGH AND MANLY AND I JUST WANT TO HOLD THEM AND RUB THEIR BACK 

(via kill-the-spark)

hobbitts:

not stoned, just slightly pebbled

(via measurable)

  • Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
  • Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
  • Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
  • Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
  • Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
  • Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
  • Me: /dinosaur screams/

wifikings:

nvxus:

wifikings:

What if Peter Pan was just an asshole, and had kids jump out of windows, making Neverland a coma dream?

Peter Pan originally was an angel of death that held kid’s hands when on their way to heaven (Neverland). That’s why they never grew up. All those kids were dead.

my childhood….gone…..image

(via tayleralexis3825)

avenqcrs:

hey you

yes you

is today your first day of school? tomorrow? or maybe it’s your 50th day of school?

either way

youre looking great

you are going to rock this

i believe in you

youre gonna knock em out of the park, champ

best wishes, 

me

(via kill-the-spark)

I get way too sensitive when I get attached to someone. I can detect the slightest change in the tone of their voice, and suddenly I’m spending all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Humans of New York - Amman, Jordan (via 5000letters)

(via ponytail-and-aprettysmile)